dilemma

I am feeling unwell- heavy head.i was unable 2 meditate also- i never tried but i did not feel upto it.harini has gone 2 school n i am alone now.
i played the word game free rice 2 make my contribution 2wards world hunger n cheked my mail.But does my measly contribution of 1000 rice grains make me feel that i hav done my duty ? i wonder. i shud do more but in what way. i send e cards by cliking on the hunger site but that is once in a while. so how can i do more? i want 2 volunteer,but in this state of mind will i b able 2 do ? i am very frustrated as i am bored at home- i gave up my job - lost a lot of leave- got no cash 2wards the same. i felt a gr8 sense of betrayal- betrayed by my employer - whom i hav served sincerely for nearly 16 years n look at the consequence ? i had all technical qualifications for insurance when i was forced to leave my job. i did try 2 use my leave but my leave application was denied for flimsy reasons- looking bak at it - i feel there was a conspiracy 2 make me resign.presently many people on transfer r coming bak on reasons ranging from illnesses of dear ones 2 infertility treatments et al.really ! there is a lot of heartburn amongst those who hav not been able 2 manage transfers r deputations bak 2 base n maybe they r wishing that somebody falls so sik that their transfer is okayed ! but is any job worth so much ? i am still pondering over this .

I plan 2 take bath- i may feel better after a bath n pray. 2day being thursday, i hope 2 recite the Vishnusahsranama.then mayb cook a sabzi n do the usual things like watch tv,read newspaper,etc.