Imandaari.

My dhobi has a sister. She was the one who would collect the clothes & deliver them after ironing.In fact,we hardly saw the brother that is the dhobi.She was of marriagable age but was not tying the knot.My maidservant was more worried than the girl about the wedding.She seemed to opine that the brother was utilising his sister for earning a livelihood.The sister would always disagree with my maidservant whenever they met at my home.Later,she started avoiding my inquisitive bai.

Months passed & one fine day,the girl announced that she is getting married.She was happy.Her brother had arranged for the match,she said.She invited us also but we were unable to go though, it, was quite nearby.Later,she paid us a visit.My mom gifted her a saree. It was out of guilt of having missed her wedding.

Now,the problem started- the dhobi did not turn up for days together.We were anxious.Our clothes were piling -especially my daughter's school uniform sets.I managed a temporary respite by giving it at the nearby power laundry.He charged me extra.I tried telling other dhobis to come up & pick the clothes.But they were hesitant in stepping into his shoes.They did not want to take away the livelihood of one amongst them.

At last,he landed.I asked him about his long absence.He said that he was not keeping well.I gave him the clothes for ironing.He delivered them as promised.But again,he was absent for a fortnight.When,he returned,he stated that he has again been keeping unwell.But ,he gave his phone number .He said that ,I could call him up & he will come.I realised that his sister was the one who did all the outside chores for him .With her gone now,he was finding it impossible to cater to all his customers.Moreover,he couldn't afford to keep an assistant. He had a family as I used to give my daughter's old clothes & shoes for his daughter.


I called him up after a week.He said that he will come the next day.He came but ,I was irritated that he came a day later.I felt, that his phone number was given so that he could decide, the day, the clothes would be taken up -not me.This continued.I still put up with him .

It was time for Deepavali .As,I was going out of town,I told him about it.He said that I call him up after I return.After my return,I called him up on phone.He came & immediately asked ,"Aapne ,Deepavali ka bonus nahi diya." ! I was angry .I had told him that I would be out of town so as to save him the inconvenience of coming to my house to look at the lock.And , he was accusing me of depriving him of his bonus.But,I kept mum.I thought, that maybe he needs a lesson or rather some lessons in manners.His sister was unlike him.I paid him his bonus.He thanked me.

He started coming regularly now -once in a week. I had to call him up but he would be there on the day,I would call him.Meanwhile,my daughter lost her wrist watch-it had been gifted by her mama.It was a purple & pink watch -a pretty one for a nine year girl.We searched everywhere but drew a blank.

The dhobi came to deliver the ironed clothes.I was on the phone talking to a friend.My dhobi handed me my kid's wrist watch & made a passing reference as he collected his payment that it was there in the bundle of our clothes.I was so busy on the phone that I could not even thank him.He could have just kept it as he has a daughter of the same age as mine but his honesty triumphed ! We would never have thought that it could be mixed up in a bundle of clothes.I felt, that it was I, who needed to join an etiquette class, as I had, yet to learn, to be thankful for all that I have got & more !

Hindi oath

Our representatives have done us proud- that is they are fighting it out for the matrubasha.One for rashtrabhasha & another for rajyabhasha.When we have such support for our lingua franca ,we should actually rejoice.Where would be we all if not for these netas ? I mean our books, dramatics,scriptures,etal would be so much less enriched if these leaders don't fight like this ?

Abu Azmi ,is a staunch loyalist of our national language -this is what he would like us to believe.Really ! How much has he done for Hindi other than just taking an oath,I don't have any idea.Moreover,he thinks that the support for Hindi ends after he has taken his oath in Hindi.Also,he has not enlightened the aam janta like me about anything else he has done which even remotely suggests that he has advocated Hindi.

The MNS members fare no better - they keep advoacting Marathi for official usage but if they were to fill up any government form in Marathi,they will know where they stand in all this language farcas.The same goes for forms in Hindi too.The MNS opines that MNS is finished with its duty in the Assembly by wildly protesting against Hindi oath taking.They have been suspended- they would have not done much else in the Assembly anyway after this.Good riddance,less nuisance for the ramaining of the session.Not that others are any bad at disrupting debates,proceedings etal.But ,atleast the security will have to deal with four people less.

Abu Azmi has not been elected for the first time -as a people 's reprenstative.It is his duty to learn the local language .I am sure, there are Maharastrians also who have voted for him.Talking to people, whom he claims to represent in their language is so very advantageous.So why,is there such a hostility to learn Marathi ? He will just get kudos for doing that.He knows,this for sure, but wants to play divisive politics so that he can turn one against the other.MNS is also just playing Abu Azmi's game-they are in it together.

So ironical-that they both shout from the rooftops that they are for the respective bhashas but do nothing other than rioting. They should know that language does not require support from anyone -least of all from our degraded netas .Language devlops only when it is spoken by many & starts becoming inclusive of words ,phrases etal from usage from other languages as well.These people are only bent on killing both Hindi & Marathi.Let us not let this happen.

After all,if Hindi has a mitr like Abu Azmi & Marathi has a sakha like MNS,there is no need for enemies !

Ayahs.

A recent report in the newspapers said, that, the lady taking care of a seven month baby had rented out the baby to beggars.The mother came across this bit of information as she arrived home early one day from work to find the baby missing from home.The maid was watching the idiot box.When she was quizzed about the baby,she replied, that the baby was also on work with beggars !The mom then realised that the baby was regularly drugged & thus was drowsy in the evenings.No police case has been filed by the parents so far, as they feel that they will be blamed for all this.

It is naive & utter foolishness to expect that ayahs will behave like Paanna dai of the Rajputs who sacrificed her own child so that the prince could live.Suppose,I have a bai to take care of my kid & there is an emergency at the home of the bai.At that moment ,it is a basic human trait that the woman will rush & tend to her emergency rather than take care of my kid.I would have acted similarly had I been in her place.

Now,in such a case, can one really blame the nanny ? Well,as the parents were so busy earning,the nanny opined, that money was scarce & the baby also needed to earn !The baby was drugged to keep away the pain of fatigue which is a result of begging sorry, working ! Probably,the parents are upset, that the earnings of their child were all being usurped by the ayah.Or maybe,the baby was earning more as compared to the the parents due to recession !

Begging is a crime & so a case will be filed against the ayah soon.But then ,how can only the ayah be at fault ? The ayah comes from a class which is just trying to somehow exist-so atleast,her act is understandable.Trying to book the ayah is like the State tackling the naxal problem- first ignore their cries for assistance & then annihilate them by force !


What about the agency which does the recruitment? Well,we all are too familiar with the scenario wherein,once we get the required certificate,we care a damn about keeping up that standard.So,this is what has happened, in all probability.We all are so materialistic now, that we will go to any extent to earn a few bucks !What is more important -our child or our job ? But for us,both are equal & so we end up putting the child in day care or under a maid & off, we go, to work.Sometimes,the grandparents take care of the child.But increasingly,grandparents are no longer young to attend to the brats & hence day care becomes a necessity.Indian youth are getting married very late & by the time,they opt for kids,their parents are so old that they themselves need care.

But ,is it necessary, for both the parents to earn-in all the cases ? Many times,it is to satisfy our inflated egos,to make use of our education,to kill time, to earn pocket money, etc that we slog, leaving our loved ones under care of others.This may include our kids,our parents,inlaws,etal.Some lucky few do have their parents- able & willing, to double up as caretakers of the grandchild.Sometimes, the caretaker may abuse the child or the senior citizen or someone with special needs.We also commonly take recourse to saying that we are earning today for a better future.But if the present is lost,is anything left for the future ?

What can be done to prevent this ? In the west,there was this trend of having hidden cameras to keep a chek on the caretaker. But, this may backfire, sometimes, as not all of us, can withstand the routine of our caretakers however atrocious it may turn out to be.This is not to say that all caretakers are bad but then,we have to be cautious.Recently, more & more cases are being reported wherein kids are being abused by mothers & fathers.So can grandparents be far behind ?Similarly,senior citizens are physically & mentally tortured by their own grown up children for money,property ,etal.If this is so,the less can be said about persons with special need.Their abuse goes unnoticed for years.


All said & done,parents are still the best bet for the kids & next ,the grandparents & then day care.
In conclusion,unless,required,one parents should stay at home to be the caretaker.Of course,it is a thankless job, as any homemaker will tell you, but regretting later is an exercise in futility.

So in the finality,it is our own greed which drives us to go & earn leaving our loved ones behind.This is the same greed which has coerced the ayah to earn more by renting out the baby to beg.So,if our greed is good,how can we classify that of the maid as cruel ? We should emulate the Mahatma by accepting aparigraha-limiting our wants.After all,as he opined,"There is enough in the world for everybody's need but not enough for even one person's greed."

Screen Capture Software

Promotions et al.

I recently heard about quite a few promotions.One of my cousin brother was promoted to a top position in the company.Another friend was promoted to a middle management position.I congragulated them all on their success.They are lucky as their skills & hard work have been recognised.In quite a few instances,people keep slogging & are superceded by others.

One of the Heads of a City unit got promoted.After promotion,he is likely to be shifted to an unenviable position in a sister concern.This is per the rule that senior executives can be posted in any of the various sister concerns.Now,that means,the  chosen sister concern will also have to tolerate the said executive like the concern wherein he was previously head.

My ex-colleague was lamenting that mean persons get awards like promotions.I quipped to remind her ",The fact that we all have to continue to work under the mean boss ( who has got a even fancier designation than before ) is the punishment for our sins .I am very doubtful if the promotion is an award for him."This is akin to a joke.A man dies & goes up.The angel takes him on a tour.At one place,he notices,Madhubala ( beautiful )  sitting with Mukri ( ugly ).The man says to the angel," I want Mukri's punishment." The angel shoots back,"That is Madhubala's punishment,not Mukri's."



In my case,I hardly got any promotions & when I was promoted years later, ,it failed to elate me.By that time,I had become so conditioned that no loss or gain nah , sorrow or joy seemed to have any effect.That was, when,I understood, the meaning of the Bhagwat Geeta which tells us to remain stead fast -come rain or shine. In fact,I learnt that in Public sector,a promotion only brings added responsibilities with no benefits whatsoever.The salary increase is hardly worth it.But tax burden does increase manifold ! Moreover,the fancier the designation,the lower the stature, in the orgainzation !

I realised a lot many things on my promotion.I was truly enlightened ! One of my colleagues had been promoted years earlier to me -well,because she was on loss of pay for months together! So,she was promoted in order to encourage her to return to office.I used to guard my leave like a fixed deposit .The office management opined, that since,I was always available,I was self motivated & promotion hardly mattered.

I rarely got to attend any training as the management   felt, I was aptly trained & fitted their idea of an obedient & sincere worker.My bosses opined  that if, I left for training,they will have to search for another donkey to slog. Once ,I recall,my immediate boss arguing with his boss about sending me on training.Finally,my boss prevailed & I attended training.Of course,apart from this,my ex- employer is quite notorious for having training sessions for people who are retiring on the first day of the training session they are supposed to attend.

I thought at one time, that, I was being left out of promotions as I was not technically qualified- but, I was wrong.I qualified on the technical front & still ,I was left high & dry.I then, came to know that I was over qualified for the next level & so drew a blank !

Promotions are also given so that people who have nuisance value can be shifted.People who argue endlessly without reason,always obstruct work,disallow others to work,unionise etc etc are always promoted & that too before others-in fact superseding many ! This is because such people have grown up- so much in their notoriety that is , they need to be dislodged- so what, if, it demotivates others !

By the time, I discovered ,all these preconditions needed for promotions,I was on my way out.My kid needed me.I almost jumped at this opportunity . I know that my job in office can be done by many but only I, can be the mother to my daughter.