My padosan always hides any sickness in her family from prying eyes.No,there is no noble purpose like containing infection,etc behind this.She has pure selfish motives in mind.She argues that if people come to know that someone is sick,the world comes visiting & the woman of the house has to serve guests more than the patient.
As my parents got older & started suffering from ailments in succession,I realised that my neighbour is right.When people arrive to enquire about the well being of the patient,the family gets impatient.The family members have to make small talk with the guest/s .serve tea & if the guest lingers even later, offer snacks,lunch,dinner ,etal.Some people are so concerned about the sick that they descend into the household from various towns & then the family has to tolerate the patient as also the guest.Perhaps they want to make sure that TLC ( tender loving care ) is being dispensed to the patient. In some instances,the family members may be unable to distinguish the guest from the patient.Even the guest will fail to recognise the sick.This is so, as the family will have already gone berserk in seva shushrusha of the patient & the sight of the guest will drive them bonkers !
There is this senior citizen who will keep enquiring about my dad's whereabouts when my dad goes out of town.I have still to figure out why he does not ask my dad when he is in town instead of asking me.His enquiries begin the moment, my dad goes out of station.I dread meeting the senior citizen as I have to grin & pretend in a very civil fashion.Recently,while my dad was recuperating in a nursing home,he visited the nursing home & as visiting hours were over,I had to bear the brunt of his gibberish talk.Thank God,he didn't arrive home to check up on my dad's health !
Some friends & relatives will enquire on phone about the well being of the patient.This is fine, but becomes an ordeal when this enquiry begins to resemble hourly updates.The concerned public demands a pleathora of answers about the doctors' opinion,the nurse's opinion,the consultant's opinion, the second opinion,the patients condition & so on & so forth.But they omit to ask the opinion of the person at the other end of the phone -for obvious reasons ! Actually, the family starts having second thoughts that they have erred in taking care of the sick.Some members may even feel like outsourcing the well being of the patient to the ever inquisitive relative,friend,etc as they seem to be doing a good job of it on the phone.The conclusion is they will fare excellently in person, in the task of taking care of the patient.
The guests & well wishers of the patient forget that in these booming economic times,when costs of groceries are breaking through the roof,the family is burdened with caring for the guest after paying the gigantic hospital bills.It is a double jeopardy for the family !The well wishers of the patient are therefore the unwell wishers of the family.So,next time,anyone of your near or dear ones fall sick,please show some patience yourself, lest you make other family members ill !
1 comment:
Indeed it is very difficult when you have to look after inconsiderate inhouse guests more than the patient!
But when the person is concerned and helpful then it indeed is a great help to have people around and lesser strain on one person.
The worst is long distance "caring" where the'concerned person" is away but wants "aankhon dekha haal" every 10 minutes ofcourse all sermons , advices are free alongwith it .This is very infuriating for the person on the ground doing his/her best!!Maybe it is so soothe the guilt!
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