Maa / Saas toh aisi hi hoti hai !

In India,the parents are always held very high up by her children.It is that the offspring can do everything  for parents..All this is reinforced by Bollywood movies & sitcoms,wherein sons & daughters will go to any extent ,to please their parents..Rather it is the way or ways to exhibit their love & care for their mothers & fathers .This is more true of a mother son relationship as all stories,are marked by patriarchal attitudes.The mother believes that her bachha can do no wrong.Nothing could be more untrue ! Of course, not all actions and omissions are crimes & yet how can adultery ,one night flings be ever justified ? Yet ,the Bharatiya naari in her mom avatar blindly dotes on her son .She believes,he can never do any wrong.He is a good son.This ,despite all evidence to the contrary.And her belief is stronger because she has to confront her daughter in law ,who is married to the ( errant ) son.I thought, that only in India,moms were fiercely protective of their sons.

I was wrong. I am an addict of the show "The Good Wife " on Z Cafe .In that sitcom,the good wife that is, the protagonist's hubby is jailed for corruption.He has used the services of a prostitute as well.The wife is shocked as her husband's secrets start tumbling out.And yet,the mom in law steadfastly sticks to her son .She says,"You are a good son .''Though she is a woman like the good wife,never once ,does she say that her son has wronged his wife by his sex escapades.

 On Life OK channel on the idiot box, ,there is a new show "Ajeeb Dastan Hai Yeh".In this show ,wife of the minister has to fend for her family after  husband is jailed for his misdemeanours.Again ,in this show,the Indian mom says that her son has been wronged.He has not done any wrong.though ,the wrongs of the son are being splashed all over the media ! The daughter in law is shocked that her mom in law can be so blind to the wrongdoings by her son. When ,the bahu buys a gift for a wedding in the family,the saasu ma chides the bahu for being a spendthrift when her son is languishing in prison. The bahu informs her that she has got a job & the gift has been brought from her salary advance ! This enrages the saas no end .She decides to creates hurdles so that the bahu will have hiccups & ultimately give it all up.This would ensure, that she loses her job & be back at home as before !

 In the "The Good Wife " ,the wife goes shopping to buy a formal dress for her interview .The mom in law comments,"You always crave good life even when your hubby is imprisoned " The protagonist says,"A good dress costs as much these days "The mom in law disagrees & says that she is trying to get a job by turning on her feminine charm while hubby languishes in jail ! As I watch these serials ,I am reminded that moms all over the world are like Indian mom : fiercely protective of theirs sons.And particularly against their daughter in laws !

I thought emotions,relationships,etc had little place in the Western World including  son -mom bonds ,mom in law & daughter in law ties etal. The western world believes more in materialism & little else The son -mom connect is simply & truly Indian . And the disaffection between the mom in law & the daughter in law is so very Indian.The two just cannot get along .This bond ( if it can be called so ) gets twisted & knotted if the son is undergoing calamity !

The aforesaid serials made me realise that the mom son bond is so Indianised,universally.Similar to the saas bahu disconnect.The same disaffection can be sensed in the western world between the two ladies who get related by marriage .It is ,as if ,all over the world ,the Indian mom son drama is being enacted.Along with the saas bahu dramatics  So ,it is Maa toh aisi hi hoti hai .Saas toh aisi hi hoti hai !




Similar emotions arise while travelling on the Lufthansa ! One is at home, away from home in the skies ! So comfortable & homely ! Lufthansa with  ghar ka khana,Bollywood movies & atithi devo bhava attitude is so steeped in Indian  ethos  Lufthansa has Indian culture  at its heart .Hence,Lufthansa has earned a place in the hearts of Indians, all the world over !

This is my entry for the "More Indian than you think " contest on IndiBlogger.

Sit coms !

Soaps have become so addictive that, I feel, I cannot survive without them ! It is just a routine.This despite the fact, that I am watching the idiot box only in the night-the prime time.Most of the soaps start with lot of promise.This is the honeymoon period - when the soap /s & the viewer /s enjoy the  initial pleasant days .Very soon,to maintain TRPs,the story line is changed or rather adapted to suit demands of the day .Then the actors are replaced -sometimes the main actor & actress gets replaced with a new actor and or actress.This all causes a lot of hilarity as also confusion.

One particular serial is on cops & is aired on weekends.It has been on the television since years now.I used to enjoy it earlier & now I end up watching it though it is so mundane now.It is actually very comical.All the cops go after every suspect together rather than one cop going after the suspect.In one episode ,a vehicle  which was used in a crime was left unattended while all the cops ran to investigate more in the vicinity.Just shows that there is not even a semblence of investigation ! In the soap,the cops go & ask the witnesse/s about the looks of the suspect/s ,the vehicle numbers etc.The witness will initially mumble about not noticing & or recalling anything but stern looks from the cops are enough to recall the minutest  details ! How I wish ,the cops would confront me when I forget where I have placed my keys,files etc ! The cops are the best re-callers of memory ! In the soap,almost all shopkeepers ,garage owners ,schools,colleges etc maintain registers which have names,addresses & all other details which come in so handy to the cops ! Just goes to show, there are methods to madness ! If only our government departments had maintained records like this.Then ,all scams,crimes  etc would have  got solved in a jiffy !

Then there is a soap, which shows an ideal Indian housewife catering to the silly demands of all males in a family in Mumbai.The family owns & manages a saree shop !The bahu is the only woman in this male household.She does all work by herself-cooking,washing clothes,utensils,teaching the youngsters,caring the elderly et al.And all this, as she struts about in designer sarees with matching accessories ! She is always defending the males in front of her mom as well ! No male even considers the options of hiring a maid & or the washing machine  to assist the bahu ,not even her hubby !Maybe they are unable to choose the washing machine from so many brands ! Maid ,is not being kept so that the bahu is able to stay fit by washing ,cleaning etc ! The amount of food she cooks for breakfast ,lunch & dinner is enough for a  party ! In one episode,it was shown, that gunny bags of veggies were brought from the market as some three to four guests  had been invited.They went on to show, that the bahu slogged to cook a sumptous dinner for all ,  without any help from the males ! This is the ultimate exaggeration so far ,idiot box style !

Another serial has gone in for selective amnesia to maintain TRP.I fail to understand, as to how, the hero can remember  all in his family except his wife.She keeps dropping hundreds of hints but he fails to follow even one of them .In some family soaps ,all in the extended family are sweetness personified.So much so that the viewers  get diabetic ! In other family soaps,all members are cunning -one up on the other & are always scheming ! It really makes one wonder ,how does one get so much time to conspire ?

In many serials ,the women are shown cooking the littlest amounts, though all are joint families containing many members. Moreover, all ladies are garishly dressed with all matching jewellery which has no connection with their economic status in the stories.

To maintain popularity ,the lead characters die  bang in the middle of the soaps.But the character never dies.He or she has survived & is resurrected again later. So very much, like our shastras which believe that the soul never dies !

The serial are  hardly aired for ten to fifteen minutes though the time slot is for half an hour.This is so, as sponsers take away half the time.The rest has to accomodate the current episode as also what happened in the last episode & what is going to be the next episode ! This is for the supposed benefit of the audience in case they have missed the episode/s ! Not that much happens in any episode.The story moves at a pace which will make a tortoise proud.This is aping us as,  as we do not live in the present ! We are either recalling  the golden past & dreaming about the better future !


Really ,I ponder ,is life imitating the soap or is it the other way around ?All said and done,these sitcoms are my prime source of entertainment ! The way ,they are aired, makes me laugh night after night ! That's why ,I have managed  without joining any laughter club.You can also watch the soaps & get stress free just the way the washing soap frees  the body of  dirt &sweat!

Kundali matching !

When my marriage was fixed,my kundali was matched with that of my husband & when all was found in order ,did we proceed further.But come to think of it now,I feel I & my husband never agree on anything .We are constantly arguing about every topic under the sun.That's why,I wonder as to  how come our horoscopes matched ?  Only the stars know.

I avidly read the weekly horoscope columns in the dailies.Though,they seldom come true-there is no harm in feeling optimistic by reading them once a week.Moreover,I read such columns in many newspapers -with the result, that, I rarely remember them.I also read not just about my star sign but also my husband;s & daughters-so you see,there is utter confusion & chaos .I can hardly recall what was written about which star sign ! But it also has a positive side effect-I take all good & bad luck into my stride .This star gazing  reading is an addictive habit which I am unable to give up.I like a newspaper only when it devotes at least half a page to the horoscope once a week.That is the first thing,I read in the Sunday paper.I feel incomplete without reading the weekly star power.Nowadays,there is tarot power also -old wine in new bottles but the more ,the merrier is my motto.I enjoy reading them all .

But I have a suggestion.In,our Bharat,a marriage is always between two families.The groom & the bride do matter but only a little.The vadhu has to be acceptable to the saas,sasur,the bhabhi,the jeth,the devar,the nanad & so on.Similiarly,the var has to be approved by the vadhu's amma,appa,bhaiya,bhabhi,dadi,naani,bacche & so forth.So,wouldn't it be a wise idea to match the girl's horoscope with that of her would be saas & other inlaws ? Also,the horoscope of the pa in law should be matched with that of the would be son-'in-law . Well,I stumbled upon this brainwave, as my relatives  have discovered lots of faults in my hubby.My better half also feels my relatives  have  lots of deficiencies.So,I felt, that their horoscopes should have been matched but now,it is too  late.I wish, others learn from my errors .But then what will happen to saas bahu sitcoms if the horoscopes of bahu & saas matched ? We will be watching better soaps -that's for sure !