Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Maa / Saas toh aisi hi hoti hai !

In India,the parents are always held very high up by her children.It is that the offspring can do everything  for parents..All this is reinforced by Bollywood movies & sitcoms,wherein sons & daughters will go to any extent ,to please their parents..Rather it is the way or ways to exhibit their love & care for their mothers & fathers .This is more true of a mother son relationship as all stories,are marked by patriarchal attitudes.The mother believes that her bachha can do no wrong.Nothing could be more untrue ! Of course, not all actions and omissions are crimes & yet how can adultery ,one night flings be ever justified ? Yet ,the Bharatiya naari in her mom avatar blindly dotes on her son .She believes,he can never do any wrong.He is a good son.This ,despite all evidence to the contrary.And her belief is stronger because she has to confront her daughter in law ,who is married to the ( errant ) son.I thought, that only in India,moms were fiercely protective of their sons.

I was wrong. I am an addict of the show "The Good Wife " on Z Cafe .In that sitcom,the good wife that is, the protagonist's hubby is jailed for corruption.He has used the services of a prostitute as well.The wife is shocked as her husband's secrets start tumbling out.And yet,the mom in law steadfastly sticks to her son .She says,"You are a good son .''Though she is a woman like the good wife,never once ,does she say that her son has wronged his wife by his sex escapades.

 On Life OK channel on the idiot box, ,there is a new show "Ajeeb Dastan Hai Yeh".In this show ,wife of the minister has to fend for her family after  husband is jailed for his misdemeanours.Again ,in this show,the Indian mom says that her son has been wronged.He has not done any wrong.though ,the wrongs of the son are being splashed all over the media ! The daughter in law is shocked that her mom in law can be so blind to the wrongdoings by her son. When ,the bahu buys a gift for a wedding in the family,the saasu ma chides the bahu for being a spendthrift when her son is languishing in prison. The bahu informs her that she has got a job & the gift has been brought from her salary advance ! This enrages the saas no end .She decides to creates hurdles so that the bahu will have hiccups & ultimately give it all up.This would ensure, that she loses her job & be back at home as before !

 In the "The Good Wife " ,the wife goes shopping to buy a formal dress for her interview .The mom in law comments,"You always crave good life even when your hubby is imprisoned " The protagonist says,"A good dress costs as much these days "The mom in law disagrees & says that she is trying to get a job by turning on her feminine charm while hubby languishes in jail ! As I watch these serials ,I am reminded that moms all over the world are like Indian mom : fiercely protective of theirs sons.And particularly against their daughter in laws !

I thought emotions,relationships,etc had little place in the Western World including  son -mom bonds ,mom in law & daughter in law ties etal. The western world believes more in materialism & little else The son -mom connect is simply & truly Indian . And the disaffection between the mom in law & the daughter in law is so very Indian.The two just cannot get along .This bond ( if it can be called so ) gets twisted & knotted if the son is undergoing calamity !

The aforesaid serials made me realise that the mom son bond is so Indianised,universally.Similar to the saas bahu disconnect.The same disaffection can be sensed in the western world between the two ladies who get related by marriage .It is ,as if ,all over the world ,the Indian mom son drama is being enacted.Along with the saas bahu dramatics  So ,it is Maa toh aisi hi hoti hai .Saas toh aisi hi hoti hai !

Similar emotions arise while travelling on the Lufthansa ! One is at home, away from home in the skies ! So comfortable & homely ! Lufthansa with  ghar ka khana,Bollywood movies & atithi devo bhava attitude is so steeped in Indian  ethos  Lufthansa has Indian culture  at its heart .Hence,Lufthansa has earned a place in the hearts of Indians, all the world over !

This is my entry for the "More Indian than you think " contest on IndiBlogger.
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