The rat race

We all are part of the rat race -we participate in it & keep complaining about it.There is no compulsion & still, we refuse to leave it.The social networking sites are a hit as all can jostle for fame on the net by joining them.Some like me are so addictive that they can overwhelm their emates by flooding their mail boxes with emails .Some people are so much a part of the rat race , that, they want to hog the limelight at all events at all times & at all places !

Recently, at a cultural event, organised in a housing society ,this was in full display.A couple, both of whom, are professionals were busy hogging the stage ,the mike ,the applause & the prizes !

Their kids go to day care.The kids are very smart- they know how to extract work from the tution teachers-they will demand, that the tution teacher get their homework completed.The kids also ask the tution teacher to assist them in school projects.The tution teacher also takes extra efforts in making the kids score better grades at school in assignments,tests & examinations.  The kids are left by the busy parents at various venues during competitions & other parents are requested to pick them up.Obviously, as other parents, have ample time on their hands.

The said parents are so busy & stressed out that they park their vehicles without any care in the world ! Others are the receiving end if & when they ask the said professionals to show a little elasticity in parking.The professionals  belong to a sect which is known for its emphasis on gentleness towards all .This just goes to show, that some, by their very behaviour,  bring disgrace to the whole community.

Coming back to the cultural programme ,the said family has left the housing society wherein this cultural programme was held & still, the family wanted to bask in glory, at its former place of residence.They have moved on to a pent house in a much sought after  neighbouring suburb.

In the cultural event,the kids were part & parcel of a majority of the plays ,the dances & the solo singing.The professional parents ,who  are so busy, that they have no time to pick up their wards sang duets with their kids to an applauding audience.Really ,what were they trying to prove ? That though ,we are so busy ,we spend quality time with our kids & how ? In front of the whole society, lest they blame the parents  !Other parents & kids are made to feel that they are uncompetitive & not up to the mark.Degrading others to upgrade oneslf is unfair & ugly. The parents were encouraging their kids on stage to sing, even though the kids were unable to recall the lyrics of the songs !This led to the whole of the audience clapping .The applause meant ,"No more ".Thankfully ,the parents encouragement just stopped short of "once more " !

Naturally ,after so much PDA ( public display of affection ) ,prizes were given to the said parents & the kids.

Many of us may not like to do what the said parents did.Really what is more important ? Passive appreciation too is good enough .Sometimes of course ,it is better to express it openly . And this type of expression /s, in front of the world, just amounts to vulgarity & comes across as very crude.Moreover ,in such a race towards the finishing line ,one tramples upon so many, that many get hurt.How long can one continue like this ? Agreed ,that human greed has no limits & yet, we must stop somewhere.As someone has rightly said ,"the trouble with the rat race, is that even if you win ,you are still a rat."

Trust

Trust is belief or faith.In these times,it is getting more & more difficult to trust anybody .But we must trust ,otherwise it is difficult to get on with life.

We should learn to have faith in ourselves of being able to  at least survive the daily chaos if not overcome the hurdles.For this, we must be positive & trust the Almighty .It is true that one gets only as much pain as can be survived by that person,neither more nor less.Moreover,if we do not get what we aspired for in life,God has something better for us.Yes,it is nearly impossible to think that after so many  disasters,something better is there on the horizon.But we must have faith, as the darkest night gives way to a brightest  morning after a few hours.

At work,we must believe, that our subordinates can also deliver as good as ourselves, if not better.Then only, is it possible to delegate jobs.If we suspect that others will mess up ,then we will ruin our health by increasing our stress levels.We must also have faith in the ability of our boss to give us at least a   raise & promotion .Bosses are rarely magnanimous but there is no harm in having a feel good attitude.At least,it will boost our self esteem -maybe, for a while !

One of my ex-colleagues used to leave her son with her parents .She had complete trust in  her parents.Not once,did she ever question her parents about his food,studies,or other aspects of well being.They continued to look after him till he started attended college.Today,the son is comfortably employed.

As against this,my neighbour  stays with her inlaws.She was working on a small time job.Her child was in the company of her in laws.But she would regularly call up her child to ask about its lunch,snacks etc.The result is  that the child trusts no one except the mother.This has led to many scenes at home but she continues on her job & her inlaws have become only baby sitters for the grandchild & nothing more.This may have greater repercussions as the child will never learn to trust anybody in life.This has made the atmosphere at home very tense as well.

If we are unable to have faith in ability of others to take care of our dear ones,then either we must make other arrangements or look after our loved ones ourselves.When we keep harbouring suspicions ,it leads to a lot of heartburn.We are hurting others .We are questioning their love & affection for us .There is a sense of betrayal which will affect the environment  at home.

Marriage stands on a strong foundation of faith.Many hubbies are very possessive about their wives & suspect their better halves of having flings.In this age of high stress,many wives have no time or inclination for affairs with husbands,so extra marital affairs look impossible, isn';t it ? Moreover,it is said that flirtatious behaviour makes a relationship stronger.This is highly doubtful as the extent of flirting is  inverse to the trust the partners have between them.

Friendship is a relation that is also prone to betrayal but I feel that we don;'t break with friends as easliy as we do with others.I think ,in this relationship lies key to all our  other kinships.That is why,on the  social networking sites,all, are only  friends -your spouse,your kids,your parents ,your in laws,your colleagues,subordinates as also bosses & even yourself !

A doha  by Rahim  "  Rahiman dhaga prem ka math toro chatkai ,tute pe phir na jude,jure gaanth pari jaaye."It means,"Rahim opines that a relationship is like a delicate string of love -please do not break it.If it breaks,it cannot be mended. It may be repaired by means of a knot but the knot remains,that is ,the same sweetness will not be there.