Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Men & Women.

This is a topic on which all of us can go on & on...We all agree that men are different from women in many respects -physically as also mentally.

Women will always think about the family first unlike, men, who will think about all, except family.They feel it is the woman's job to even think about the family !It is not that men are terribly busy at work in office .It is just the way they think -an innate ,inborn, inherent  tendency to think only about themselves.Men gossip at work & outside & I feel they are more at it than the women, but women are always blamed for being rumor mongers.How unfair !

I have a brother who is so much in love with the computers that if my computer breaks down ,he will come rushing in to have a look at it.But if anything were to happen to me,he is least bothered.My hubby is a step ahead.He is in love with nobody.He will always excuse himself in any emergency as he cannot get leave or that leave won't be sanctioned.

My friend 's  hubby  opines  that hard work never killed anyone ( he actually means women-his wife) but then he does not want to try it himself !I have a cousin brother who will always side with the maids whenever his wife complains about them.He believes this is his way of being pro-labour.But he has no sympathy for the hard labour his wife puts in to keep the house spic & span.My brother in law works for a finance company & he is forever working there on festivals,holidays et al.His wife says that he is wedded to the company & not to her.Obviously all at the home front is her botheration.

Recently,I accompanied my kid  as she had to be dropped at a school for a mathematics competitive examination.It was a Sunday & the test was scheduled to start at 12 in the noon.Many moms had come to leave the wards but fathers were few & far between.So,on Sundays also, dads are busy - in fact, they are more busy on holidays -reading newspapers ,drinking endless cups of tea,coffee,relaxing amongst other things ! Mothers are always relaxed -so they never need a break !

Many men will not do any household chores as they feel it is not their job but slowly attitudes are changing.As women go on jobs out of their homes,men have to share housework.But still,in India,men are not brought up that way .As Gloria Steinem opines,"We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. "

Women are the care takers in the family -men aren't bothered -they state that women are the best nurses.This is very convenient thinking so that men don't get involved in the caring .They all are cared by the woman only- no matter, how busy she is .Caring is her duty.In our nation,men decide about when he can have sex with his wife,which college the kids will go,when will the children be married ,etc.But the woman has to nurture the kids ,do seva of the senior citizens at home & so on & so forth.Her opinion is never sought about higher education for her children nor about the marriage.She is like an unpaid servant whose presence is acknowledged only when things go wrong .Gloria Steinem said ,"Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. "This is true for all nations & across all communities -the world over.

Though,we all are slowly & steadily changing -men coming to terms that a woman can also get tired even if she is only a home maker ( a homemaker works as hard as women on jobs- maybe, harder).Women are also scaling new heights & leaving sacrificing themselves at the altar for family,etal -they know being a devi is not worth the effort.It does not promise divinity.

All said & done,females still think about others before themselves. To quote Gloria Steinem again,"I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing."Such a long journey has been traversed but ,still,we have along way to go...


Suman said...


india-awake said...

you have given some good ideas to ponder

but the debate will continue eternally.

good raangoli.

Secured People to People lending - P2P Lending said...

Hey !It is not that women are martyrs at the alter of marriage!!It is a division of labour in the organisation of "Life" which both partners have to do with their best ability.
But i must agree with you that a housemaker's job is considered as a worthless job by most - incl women themselves !Materialism reigns supreme!!!
Since more mothers are a work force outside the house, grooming the children is sadly entrusted to uneducated, care-two-hoots kind of maids. This is reflected in the generation which is coming up with the same values as its nurturer.....i.e ask for rights rather than do something as a duty!! So the society suffers at large with more violence and pent up frustrated kids!!

priyanka's said...

this one is a very big issue actually... something thts due to the orthodox gender biases ingrained in everyone from time immemorial..

not only at home, but also in ofc this kinda attitude is quite prevalent... as in men arent very comfortable with the idea of a boss who is a lady. or even tht there exist a gender bias in compensation also though both may be at the same level..

on observing ppl i find women are up for a very big fight to prove their worth... be it home or office or anywhere else in the society.

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