My friend asked me the other day if I could accompany her to a workshop on " How to handle kids " .This was at a local school for an evening.I was reluctant as I feel that nobody can give us readymade solutions for any situations in life but as I sensed that my chum needed company,I agreed.
The workshop was oraganised by a group which has a modern age Guru endorsing it or rather the Guru's name is flaunted by his disciples for all the talks & meets organised by them.The charges were below five hundred but for a single night,I felt,we were paying steeply.As we paid the fees,we were also told to divulge our cell numbers so that they could bombard us with information about numerous talk shows they were having next.So for the charges paid,we were actually being fleeced as our privacy was also at stake !
As we sat down on the chairs,we were handed papers & a pen to make our jottings.Then we were informed that the workshop would begin at half past seven.We were given to believe that it would start at seven but in India,everything starts late to suit latecomers.So we waited & then ,again to accomdate more people,it was decided to start at fifteen minutes past the decided time.Anyway,itt did start at quarter to eight.Not many had come in to partake of the positive thoughts about kids.Hardly twenty people were there excluding the organisers .There was one yuppie couple who were not parents yet & there was a spinster - they were going to advise us on dealing with our kids !
We were told about three Fs -we must be firm ,fair & have fun whilst dealing with kids.We as parents must never give in to their demands of chocolates,toys etc once we have set limits no matter what the tantrums are.We must also be fair - we cannot lie whilst talking to others & expect the child to always speak the truth.Moreover,we must also have the fun factor in mind as we handle kids.
We were given a formula -PEACE .PEACE stands for positivity,giving an ear to the kid , allowing creativity & also that presentation is a key in making them eat healthy.They also told us that it takes 18 days of continuity to get into a habit & after 41 days the habit becomes second nature .That is,after 41 days,we cannot do without that activity-it becomes so much a part of us that we cannot live without it.
The examples that were given were good & made us aware of the mistakes we commit as we interact with our children.But some ideas were too simplistic & may not work,say with teenagers.The male teacher stated that the chief of the programme is so concerned about his children that he always keeps communication lines open.He has instructed his office staff that he is always there for jhis kids even in the midst of meetings.As we were all being enlightened aboyut all this,the mobile phone of a participating parent rang.He was told to promptly switch it off by the lecturer.Now,suppose ,it was from his kid with whom he wanted to reopen the communication line as was being advised in thbe worshop ?!
Obviously,there are no easy answers.As one of them put it," All gadgets come with a manual but the child comes without a manual." It is our own affection,love & wits which will ultimately help us in bring up our child.All these ways will be individualistic in as much as each of us is unique in our own way !
The workshop was oraganised by a group which has a modern age Guru endorsing it or rather the Guru's name is flaunted by his disciples for all the talks & meets organised by them.The charges were below five hundred but for a single night,I felt,we were paying steeply.As we paid the fees,we were also told to divulge our cell numbers so that they could bombard us with information about numerous talk shows they were having next.So for the charges paid,we were actually being fleeced as our privacy was also at stake !
As we sat down on the chairs,we were handed papers & a pen to make our jottings.Then we were informed that the workshop would begin at half past seven.We were given to believe that it would start at seven but in India,everything starts late to suit latecomers.So we waited & then ,again to accomdate more people,it was decided to start at fifteen minutes past the decided time.Anyway,itt did start at quarter to eight.Not many had come in to partake of the positive thoughts about kids.Hardly twenty people were there excluding the organisers .There was one yuppie couple who were not parents yet & there was a spinster - they were going to advise us on dealing with our kids !
We were told about three Fs -we must be firm ,fair & have fun whilst dealing with kids.We as parents must never give in to their demands of chocolates,toys etc once we have set limits no matter what the tantrums are.We must also be fair - we cannot lie whilst talking to others & expect the child to always speak the truth.Moreover,we must also have the fun factor in mind as we handle kids.
We were given a formula -PEACE .PEACE stands for positivity,giving an ear to the kid , allowing creativity & also that presentation is a key in making them eat healthy.They also told us that it takes 18 days of continuity to get into a habit & after 41 days the habit becomes second nature .That is,after 41 days,we cannot do without that activity-it becomes so much a part of us that we cannot live without it.
The examples that were given were good & made us aware of the mistakes we commit as we interact with our children.But some ideas were too simplistic & may not work,say with teenagers.The male teacher stated that the chief of the programme is so concerned about his children that he always keeps communication lines open.He has instructed his office staff that he is always there for jhis kids even in the midst of meetings.As we were all being enlightened aboyut all this,the mobile phone of a participating parent rang.He was told to promptly switch it off by the lecturer.Now,suppose ,it was from his kid with whom he wanted to reopen the communication line as was being advised in thbe worshop ?!
Obviously,there are no easy answers.As one of them put it," All gadgets come with a manual but the child comes without a manual." It is our own affection,love & wits which will ultimately help us in bring up our child.All these ways will be individualistic in as much as each of us is unique in our own way !
1 comment:
It's a wonder how people who dont have children can lecture on bringing them up!! Please dont say that a doctor cures a disease without experiencing it......it is not comparable at all!!
Being a parent myself i can say yes indeed -parenting does involve a continous learning process which is dynamic! You need to be really involved with the child's - interest, learning, security and protection- whether from (mis)information onslaught or other electronic influences, fears etc .
So it is not as easy to parent a child like what is was earlier. The main thing though which remains the same is the fact that the child apes/models the parent's behaviour or you may say the behaviour of the person who is involved in bringing up the child- e.g grand parents/ relative/helpers/nannies.
So i feel to bring about a change in the child as parents we need to change our own habits first by critically examining ourselves and correcting ourselves. We also need to evaluate our kids and use the right technique while all the time reassuring them of our unconditional love!!
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