Alpana

Car Mukesh seva

Arvind Kejriwal orders to file FIR against Mukesh Ambani, Veerappa Moily....Headline in Economic Times dt.12th Feb,2014.

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I hope this FIR that Arvind Kejriwal is threatening doesn't distract Mukesh Ambani from the serious business of running the country.

Cars to get cheaper as FM slashes duty.....Headline in Times of India dt.18th Feb,2014.

Earlier this week,Government  announced the interim budget .It enumerated  huge discounts on SUVs,cars,two wheelers etc.Ambani who is extracting gas is selling to Government at exorbitant rates !  Not only has Government increased sorry doubled prices of natural gas  ,it is providing market for natural gas through automobile industry.By making vehicles cheaper ! Just goes to prove, that Mukesh Ambani is gung ho about gas ! This is  a win win situation for Reliance !

And a mirage for the general public ! The huge number of automobiles which will be unleashed on the roads will make the traffic worse & up the accidents ! Agreed, that population needs to kept under control Yet, this is a cruel way  of increasing vehicles on roads leading to more  accidents in which many will be killed .Many people will be maimed for life as well.A report by WHO  states that road accidents are the sixth cause of death in India.This implies more hospitalization, & socio economic losses among the young & middle aged people .This also means that there must be more emphasis on trauma care as also rehabilitation which is as good as absent, in our country.

Since real estate prices show no signs of going down,Chidambaram opines that people can stay in cars or better in SUVs.Real estate prices can reach another galaxy so that people will buy vehicles as they are affordable & not homes ! Small families consisting of husband & wife in two wheelers,three member families in autorickshaws & larger families in cars & SUVs.Those who desire larger spaces in mean machines can opt for SUVs provided they can afford the price.The  interim budget has reduced duties on luxury cars by as much as Rs.50,000.For an Audi Q 7 ,the discount is as high as 4 lacs.On second thoughts,a person can be the proud owner of not one but many vehicles !


Image : Wikipedia @http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automotive_industry_in_India

 The best part is that the  price of the mean machines remain the same, no matter what area it is parked in ...an upmarket area or a downmarket slum.Anybody owning a scooter can park it in a posh suburb & that will be home ! Just one interim budget has upped the living standards of the aaam junta ! Very soon, upmarket areas will be teeming with venom venting vehicles ! That will again assist in controlling population as more & more will suffocate & die early .If not death,they will demand right to die as the air will be thick with pollutants & many will be sick with varied ailments ! In which nation ,do the voters beg for mercy killing ?

With one stroke of reduction of duties on two wheelers & four wheelers,etc,Government is going to achieve so many targets : provide mobile shelter,control population  & raise standards of living ! And lest anybody forgets, ensure that Reliance makes a fortune which is the primary  aim of the interim budget as has always been with earlier budgets- interim as also final !

Kudos to Chidamabaram & the Government for such futuristic thinking ! Thanks  to BJP for ensuring that they kept mum & refrained from asking any revealing questions ! Our country sorry people are going places ! After all , in vehicles ,people do end  up somewhere...so what if it is Hell ? !

Rangoli

Valentine : The List !

There is love in the air ! Of course,all of us can sense it ! The media is overflowing  with advertisements of special offers for V day ,how can anyone miss it ?  I am all for Valentine's day. Atleast on one day ,we can profess our love unbashedly & openly.On other days,we cannot do so for fear of reprisals.Look, what happened when Penguin India professed its love for " The Hindus " by Wendy Doniger !


Image : WallPress.

Times  change & so do Valentines.As I read on a T shirt "Love remains the same....partners change ."I am listing out the list of probable Valentines of ordinary  & extraordinary Indians.

Arvind Kejriwal : His Valentine currently is the Jan Lokpal Bill which he wants passed by the Lok Sabha or he threatens to dare the Congress to pull off support.Earlier,his valentine was BJP,Congress,Sheila Dixit,etal.His next valentine on the list is Mukesh Ambani followed neck to neck by Moily. Arvind Kejriwal loves to hate all these Valentines !

BJP : Their current Valentine is Narendra Modi & chai-in any order.BJP is completely behind Namo so much so that they have lost the plot ! Love makes you blind & this one is the perfect example of that.BJP is busy defending Namo or offending anyone & everyone who raises even the tip of the finger in the direction of Namo.

Congress : Rahul Gandhi urf Shahjaza .The condition of Congress is such that  it has gone blind ,deaf & dumb in love .Congress says something.Next Rahul Gandhi goes public with his views .Congress goes into repair mode & retracts back all that was supposedly the party's stand earlier ! Why can't they just check with the PM in waiting before declaring anything? This is needed as otherwise how can we witness PDA by Congress for its Prince ?

Narendra Modi : Namo remains unimpressed by the likes of Meghna Patel who  posed with just lotus petals & a placard & urged all to vote for Namo.Chai or tea is Namo's Valentine.As he has been ridiculed as a chaiwala,he is proving that  his love is loyal.To the chai, that is.After all in our Bharat all work gets done by chai paani.Now that chai is there ,Namo needs paani to get things moving .Towards the throne, that is.

Aamir Khan : The second season of Satyamev Jayate .Reoprts say  that shooting was stalled as Aamir was crying so much that the studios were flooded & shoots were cancelled.Aamir is overwhelmed by his Valentine.Just shows how sincere  is Aamir in love,  just like his acting in the movies.

Salman Khan : Being Human,his NGO.Very admirable except that he wants all to have Being Human as their Valentine as well ! Noticed how all of Bollywood walked the ramp for Being Human ! This is  love for Valentine in true filmy style.After all ,style follows bhai.

Shah Rukh Khan : Chennai Express .Actually ,King Khan would love Rohit Shetty to be his Valentine but since Section 377 stands restored,he cannot openly admit having a male Valentine!

Deepika Padukone : Box office. Giving three  hits in a year has confirmed that Deepika has box office as her valentine.Move over Ranbir,Ranvir,etal.Who needs them, when Box Office embraces Deeps openly & in full public view ? !

Myself : My writing is my Valentine.Only that my writing is lost in my love so much so that it is devoid of expressions & it shows ! In readership that is .Since,I cannot copy bhai & coerce all near & dear ones to read my blog posts, I have to keep viewing my blog posts to exponentially increase views ! Love is indeed  hard work. No one knows it better than me.

My hubby : Share market ....BSE,NSE,NYSE,in fact, any market which is rising & gives him an exponential increase in the value of  shares.All this is notional cuts no ice with him ! After all, love is an emotional  notion .

My brother : His Valentine is I-phone.He is always holding on to it...come rain or shine.He is in awe of it ,all the time.Keeps telling all, how indispensable it is ! His eyes twinkle when he talks about the I phone ! He has eyes only for the I phone & nothing else !

This list is by no means exhaustive.It is subject to change depending on the circumstances & other things .After all ,everything is subject to change, even love.So the Valentines will change  & soon ! Watch this space !

Saathiya

Serious,....are we ? !

Many believe that I am very serious.In other words meri #ConditionSeriousHai.I am argumentative about things close to my heart.And my heart is very wide.Yet others believe that is the wild side ..nopes the whole of me...no sides ! I believe that I am good at writing though no body reads them ! The problem is, my readers ( if any ) are not serious .


The teachers & Principal of my daughter 's school are very concerned about the progress of the students of their school .My daughter is in higher secondary.My daughter &  her classmates  have to appear for  confidence tests in all subjects just  before the annual exams.I am really lost, as I am still guessing ,whose confidence is being tested ...teachers,students or parents.Truly,#ConditionSeriousHai of the school,that is ! 

While ,I worked in an Insurance company ,one record clerk in particular ,was reporting on all others, in office, to the boss.As it became apparent that #ConditionSeriousHai,the said record clerk was nicknamed office wife of the  boss !

My neighbour is always on a borrowing spree.She borrows plastic carry bags,sugar,cucumbers,potatoes,onions,ginger,money ,etal.She is non -discriminatory in all this. She borrows cash  from the electrician,maid,neigbour,plumber in fact from all in the society.They all run for cover as soon as they spot her as uski #ConditionSeriousHai !  

One of my friends is a cleanliness freak.She feels I am unclean about my house & the like.She cleans her shelves,doors,windows,fans,all knick-knacks on a daily basis.She believes her house is dust free. She offered to cleanup my safety door as repeated pleas from her had not had the necessary effect on me.She tiptoes into  my house as she is afriad of getting her clean feet covered with dust & grime.It is debatable if her feet are getting dirty or my floor is getting dirtier ? ! She orders outside food stuff often.What I cannot follow is how squeaky clean people can eat unhygenic & unhealthy food ? Outside food ,even if cooked in starred restaurants is suspect as regards hygiene as also nutrition.Just suffice to say, that mere friend ki #ConditionSeriousHai. 

My dad practises yoga.He hardly reads & yet has brought numerous books on yoga.He has even gifted yoga books to yoga practitioners in the neighbourhood.Whenever he sees any kid sitting in any pose ,he exclaims,"See how flexible is his body .I cannot do this even now, after so much practice." I sigh ,as I realise #ConditionSeriousHai. 

Laptop,smartphone,I pad,etc are all scattered around my brother at all times.As soon as he gets up ,even before brushing his teeth,he puts his laptop on.Next, he will check his smartphone.Whenever he steps out ,the moment he spots a mobile phone shop,he enters it & grills the salespeople there He leaves them fuming as he rarely purchases anything.By now , all mobile phones sales personnel in the city know  that my brother ki #ConditionSeriousHai.

She is a regular at yoga as also the gym.Yet, she skips  shavasana as she cannot be still.Ever ! Yes, uski #ConditionSeriousHai.She is hyperactive to the core ! She drives me crazy & she is a neighbour who regards me as a friend.In fact,her whole family ka #ConditionSeriousHai.Hubby visits India every alternate month & is in the society committee.At home ,he has old parents who need care.And yet, hubby & wife are busy with their exercises,society meetings & the like. Kids are enrolled in classes round the clock 24X7.

Some time back ,a survey was done which concluded that Indians never take breaks from work ! It was opined that Indians ka #ConditionSeriousHai.Nothing could be further from the truth.As work is a paid holiday more often than not,who needs breaks ? ! Why do you think ,we make upmteen trips to & fro from shops,banks,offices & the like ? Work gets done ( that is if it ever gets done ) only after numerous visits.This remains the same, even if the bank is a private bank ,private sector insurance company etc.So much for customer (dis)service !
   
Selfie was the most word of the year gone by .The social media has been flooded by potraits of all & sundry by themselves ! Now facebook has gone ahead & allowed users to make movies from the information on their timelines ! All are stars now .Facebook wants all to stick to it just as the reports started trickling in that  many are leaving facebook.So this movie trick & how we all fell for it hook ,line & sinker ! Now, if this is not #ConditonSeriousHai,what is ? ! If facebook can be labelled as a condition or maybe, the condition ! ?



This post ka #ConditionSeriousHai as I will now let it loose on the net...vide email,social media & twitter.I would stalk all,by telling them to like comment & share ! I will take breaks  by biting into Cadbury 5 Star Bars which are so handy .They simply melt in the mouth & make life less serious.Now only  if Cadbury & Oglivy could agree that this blog post ka#ConditionSeriousHai as this is an earnest desire to be declared as the winner !

Muggu

Book Review : The Prophecy of Trivine

The Prophecy of Trivine is a coordinated effort by three engineers who studied in the same college.This is a surprise as it requires thinking & visualising similarly & even agreeing to the visualisation & ideas of others.This is a book divided into Prologue,20 chapters followed by Epilogue.All these are contained in 259 pages.The book came with two book marks.The book marks had the same print as is there on the  cover of the book.

The book cover,shows half a face which is silvery white with piercing blue eyes.It is a very chiseled face & a feminine one.The eye is blue.The background seems to be bluish black.On the back cover is a circle which could be the globe or the sky.It shows passing clouds & a hyena silhouette of a hyena which seems to be  wailing as the mouth is open, with canines  protruding from its mouth..Two more trees,both dried up, with no leaves,form part of the background.


This is a tale of a techie,on the run, who takes shelter in the jungle.This is also the story of a pharmacist,who is studying plants & herbs in the jungle.This is also the saga of a  person,who is a great artist.This story delves into the jungle & the happenings there.The jungle is paranormal or is it mutating ? Or maybe it is all just normal ?

What are the aims of the techie,the scientist & the artist ? Will they join hands together for making the world a better place ? Or  would they pull each other down, as that is basic human nature ?Are humans ever ready to argue,pick up a  fight and the like ? Can they ever aid & help each other ? There is someone who is keeping a watch & maybe even prompting .Who is that ? Is that real or paranormal or is it God ?Where is the world headed ?

The book is written visually .....especially the description of the forest is so vivid that one would love to explore such a jungle as described in the book.Not that it is without its inherent dangers.Still ,the beauty  of the jungle makes one feel adventurous to try it out.Telepathy & other terms like contact,teleporting make it very engrossing !

Current events are woven into the tapestry of the novel & this makes it contemporary. The language is easy & fluid.The story moves at an even pace.A little bit of humour would have been the icing on the cake ! Is paranormal same as Divine ? Not many will concur.Moreover is destruction the only option for God ? Almighty is capable of  repairing  & resurrection , isn't it ? That is what makes God so many notches above human kind.

The saga does get preachy at times.Some ideas  like  evolution of life as per the novel may be unacceptable to some.This is a good attempt to weave science fiction & magic.Trust, that very soon, cures for life threatening disease / s would  be revealed.....as in the novel !    

I am thankful to Storizen for this opportunity to review this sci fi fantasy.I would surely recommend this book for the vivid description of the jungle....it is so good that the jungle appears to be enchanted .

Chowkpurana

Big brother is watching us !

Image courtesy : Free CCTV dome camera clip art

Recently there was theft of a bicycle in the building of my residence.The security guards posted at gate denied having seen anybody taking away any bicycle.The owner claimed it was new & produced the bill as proof .The matter ended, when the security guard on duty, was penalized & cost of bicycle recovered from his salary.One may wonder if the security guard receives a pay, from which the cost of a bicycle can be recovered.Maybe, the cost was recovered in installments ! There is another gate in the compound from where the bicycle could have been  delivered outside & that gate is not manned.Yet all this was never looked into as the cycle owner was cross that his cycle was stolen.

Another fall out of this theft has been installment of closed circuit televisions in the lifts ,at the  three entrances to the building,etc.All these  CCTVs are keeping a close watch on   the residents,visitors,workers like sweepers,salesmen,guests etal who ever enters the gates ! In many housing complexes,there are cameras installed in each flat to screen potential accused  ! 

After being watched by CCTVs in airports,ATMs,bank,railway stations,,shops,CCTVs have come so close ! Close to homes,I mean ! This is just like the future predicted by George Orwell in his novel 1984 wherein all individuals are being closely monitored by the State vide cameras.

And believe me ,we are being told, it is all for our benefit /s  ! Really ? The CCTV footage of the man, who brutally assaulted the woman at the ATM in Bangalore is there for all to see.The accused is still at large ! 

It is doubtful if CCTV footage of Preeti Rathi's attacker was caught due to CCTV footage at the Bandra terminus as it was reported to be unclear ! The woman died after struggling for life, in a city hospital.

The banks have now decided to limit the number of transactions  at ATMs   to five in a month ! That means just  five snaps  in a month ! This was coming.as a purported solution to prevent attacks on wannabe victims in isolated ATMs.This means just five photos  at Bank ATMs in a month  !  No wonder,the number of selfies on social networking sites has gone up exponentially !

We all are celebrities now.Whatever we do, is being recorded by cameras  at all places...Airports,ATMs,Banks,Bus Stops,Lifts,Offices,Railways stations,Shops,Traffic Signals & all this, is believe it or not ,for our safety & security ! From whom ? From ourselves,obviously since this is the age of mistrust ! This hardly makes us behave .In fact ,we have worsened...since we are being watched,we behave most atrociously & get away with it ! Just like the celebs ! 

We must cooperate in this exercise of  suspecting each other! This is just like Big Boss except, that all are winners at losing their privacy ! Very soon ,all these CCTVs can be linked with each other in one pan India grid .Hence,George Orwell's 1984 is going to get REAL ! 

Selfie was one of the most popular words of the year which went by.Just shows how much self centered & obsessed we all are ! Despite being under constant surveillance,we keep clicking ourselves & display it to the world at large ! 

Not only are we being followed, as we go about our mundane daily chores,we are being mobbed for our autographs & other details ! In the banks, we are asked for our identity, our signatures,residence proof ,income proof ,etal. Ditto for ATM cards,credit cards,telephone connections,electricity,,etc...in fact for each & everything.In fact ,it is called "KYC ": norms. It stands for "Know your customer " .Admirable indeed, except that customers learn about the bank,the ,the phone provider,the electricity company only after money has been paid .After that ,the wannabe consumer   wishes he or she  had never known them ! ......

 KYC is for all  customers-new as also   old ones as everything changes ! Yet, it is tedious to keep submitting KYC forms filled up on daily ,monthly & yearly basis ! And changes for the worse,the service that is sorry dis service by the banks s,insurance companies & the like .Our snaps are lapped up by all these service providers & that too autographed ones ! Product endorsements are the next stop for us ....actors,authors,models,sport stars,etal....beware ,we, the new age Stars have arrived !

MNCs like Colgate,Dove ,etc are using ordinary folks to promote their brands ! We never had it so good ,isn't it ? We are being paid for going public with our choices ! 

Very soon ,our voting is going to get public ! It will not be secret ballot any more ! CCTVs will show, who voted for whom ! Oops why CCTV,when there can be selfies by people  themselves casting their votes ? ! Selfie is  photo  by the self ,of the self, for the people ! Selfie is a natural progression of democracy  which is   by the people, of( f ) the people,  for the people !