For the past few days,many students have been taking their own lives.This has become a growing concern to parents & all.By students,I mean teenagers who are almost at the fag end in schools & also by youth in their colleges.Of course,siome kids as young as 12 to 13 years are also dying but that is rare.What triggered this blog post was the news my daughter told me as soon as she got down from her school bus .She said that one girl studying in sixth standard in her school had tried to end her life by slashing her wrist ! She is now in hospital.
The psychologists are warning that we give too much stress to the child to study well.We tend to emphasize only the academic performance of the child.We forget that the child is good at playing ,drama,speaking ( debate),dance,music ,art et al.Nowadays,all kids are put in various classes- drawing,music,tennis,badminton,etc in addition to being tutored .This happens with kids as young as 5 years old !
At least,in our childhood,we only studied at home -occasionally,we were tutored but we generally never went for art,music,dance,football classes.Because in those days,there was less competition.Moreover,our ambitions were simple.Not so today-we as parents want our child to be the leader at studies,games,& the fine arts- in fact at everything ! We fail to see what stress we are subjecting the kid to.Maybe, we see, but manage to suppress our guilt & look away, as all parents are doing it anyway.
One reason why all parents act like this & pressurize their kids is because in today's India ,competition is tough .This is so because the population is huge & seats at the better colleges are hardly enough to cater to all those who score reasonably good marks.Another reason,we don't want our kids to make a career in music,dance,painting,games is in these fields, life is a lot more tough with hardly any recognition on the way & when it does come,it is very late.Moreover,in our nation,as in all cases,a lot of strings have to be pulled even for brilliant persons.A majority of the middle class is skeptical about being able to make any dent in these fields with such preconditions. So, they push their kids to do well academically.The logic is, that, by being a garduate or a postgraduate ,atleast the person will be able to make a decent living.So,parents refuse to nurture talents in their kids.
For all this to change,a lot of things have to happen.Parents should encourage & motivate children to follow their dream hobbies.Even teachers & professors should recognize that spark of brilliance in the child- whether good at fine arts,games ,debate etal.We must all force the government to give recognition to real talents & not some nephews ,nieces of netas,& others just because they are related or are friends.Then only,can we put an end to this stress which has forced young people to end their lives.
Lastly,we should tell the kids that failures are a part of life just like success .Failure only means that we should strive harder .Moreover success in studies does not guarantee success in relationships,life etc. After all,growing up to be a better human being is what life should be all about rather than winning or losing.
1 comment:
I believe, an act of suicide with trauma of insufficient magnitude or stress, particularly shows a community's LOSS OF MENTAL BALANCE. This might be a symptom of 'general malaise' and a weak 'psychological immunity' rather than a sign of deeper understanding of life itself. Even if one abstains from ending one's life out of sheer fear (lack of courage), there still is a hope that possibility of improved perception of 'Life in its Entirety' is pushed to some future date... things might have changed by then [even one's perception itself might improve over time]. Our community including 'significant adults' in case of teenagers has a responsibility of CRISIS INTERVENTION, a mechanism that manages to promote postponement of 'decision to end the life' to a later date. Discussed informally, this may be our only tool to subvert 'abrupt decisions about life and death'. Topic of DEATH in itself and one on 'inviting it' should at least be brought out of the cupboard and talked about as much openly as possible. This might bring the topic of Suicide out of current romanticism it seems to hold for the 'High Risk' susceptible population. One heart-break or one failure, then may not mean End of Meaning in Life for these folks. I guess this is what 'Psychological Immunity' could be all about.
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