Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sparsh ( Touch )

I read in the newspaper that a book is being released tomorrow titled "Learn the rules of touch".The book is in Hindi ( Sparsh ke niyam seekhiye).

Millions of kids all over the world are abused by persons known, as also unknown, to them.Moreover, the scars inflicted remain on their minds all life long.Even I, have been tormented by this.I remember, the first time, it happened was, when, I & my sibling were left with teenagers as all our parents had gone for a party.All of us started playing a hide & seek game by putting off all the lights.The eldest teenager caught hold of me & my sibling & started groping me.He kept passing some funny comments.I was too naive to know what was going on but, I felt, very uncomfortable & tried to wriggle free.When I grew up,it was clear, that this was my first brush with abuse.Later ,I got a marriage proposal from the same person !I refused.Maybe,he had forgotten, what he had done, but naturally,he will not recall as he may have acted similarly with other kids.It was then, that I told my parents about it.I did not disclose earlier because, I did not understand the assault then. As I grew up,I had begun to realise it.

Later , I had to travel with a younger cousin to a town some distance away by a bus.I was still in school then.On our way back,a middle aged fellow sat next to us.He sat besides me & my cousin sat next to the window.Very soon, he tried to get physical & before I knew,he had begun fondling.I was aghast, but could not protest. I knew nobody on that bus except, my cousin who was younger than me & a boy at that.So I kept turning my position till my bus stop came & my ordeal ended.

Whilst in college,I was coming home on vacation in a train.It was very early in the morning & I had got up as my destination was nearing.But being sleepy,I wanted to catch a few winks.So I lied down on the sleeper at the bottom.In a few minutes,I could hear somebody breathing.I opened my eyes to discover that one fellow male traveler was cosying up to me ! I turned but he smiled & assured me that I could sleep ! I got up & sat till my station arrived.There were majority of men around me & a minority of ladies who were asleep.I was forced to be silent.


Later ,this happened, while I was working in Public sector.I was feeling unwell in office- so much so, that, I needed to visit a doctor. I went to one who had his clinic next door.Under the pretext of my physical examination,he abused me physically.I left hastily after collecting my prescription.My boss later asked me if the said medical practitioner would be suitable for being on the Company's panel for Mediclaim.I told him that his inclusion in the panel would lead to a flood of grievances instead of redressal.

We all have gone through such sexual abuse as children as also as adults as Indian society places too much premium on our tolerence but, it is time, we discuss & debate all this.This will educate us & give us solutions to overcome this menace. Boys are as much abused or maybe even more than girls- the tender age of children is exploited for satisfying sex maniacs,promoting pornography as well as supposedly curing sexually transmitted diseases ! This has to stop.

That is why sex education at schools becomes a must.That is how a child will learn about sparsh- the good,the bad & the ugly.Lest,we forget,we cannot have another incident like Nathari.

1 comment:

medha said...

I feel parents must give the confidence and courage to children to speak out loud against such abuse and parents need to take such people to task. After bitter personal experiences i feel we must teach the kids that shouting out loud when touched misappropriately is the best weapon in hand. Parents need to be vigilant too and not trust kids to anybody because most such misconducts are by the known people.

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